Starting CrossFit – Failure
On Thursday August 7, 2014 Mike walked into CrossFit SOFLA for his first class. A lot has changed for Mike since that hot summer day. A few months into joining us, we asked Mike to write about his experience.
Starting CrossFit gave this word a new meaning for me. For many years, I had a different idea of what that word meant. I had sort of sunk into a feeling of myself that I was a failure because I felt my illness had stolen a lot from me: my personality, vitality, hope, self-worth, attitude, confidence, outlook on life, among many other things. Did I even have anything to offer anymore? Many mornings I would step into the gym and I would fail. Everyone there would beat me and I thought yet again here is something that reinforces my own thinking that I was a failure. I actually have to be honest to say that I would have tears as I drove to the gym to work out knowing that I would probably suck yet again and wasn’t even sure if I could complete the workout. I will also admit that I pretty much hated the workouts and I felt like I was being tortured. But I kept showing up and something started to change in me. I stopped worrying so much about what other people were doing and I started thinking more about just improving myself instead. Instead of thinking about failing, I started to fall in love with the process of getting better. Game-changer. This is the aspect of CrossFit that I didn’t realize or appreciate: growing the ‘mind muscle’. I needed this. Life has a way of kicking you down and then stepping on your neck while you’re down and you need the mental toughness and fortitude to get your butt back up and fight for your life. I had lost my will to fight, but I was starting to get it back…